I know a lot of bloggers have mixed feelings about "year in review" and "resolution" posts. So I'm going to call this post like I see it: a post for me.
I just feel like this is one of those times when I need to "blog for myself"
I'm not writing any of this hoping that anyone will comment, read or even care. I'm doing it so that next year I can look back on this.
Laying in bed last night J.D. and I were reflecting on this past year and talking about goals and hopes for 2012. He said something that made me cry.
He told me that I "really turned into a mom" this year.
The funny thing is I actually knew what he meant by that too....
I went from being worried about every little thing and learned how to go with the flow. I found a love of singing nursery rhymes, trips to the park, reading children's books, and laying on the floor just playing. Trey and I truly formed a bond. I can tell what he needs without hearing or seeing - I can just feel it now. I learned how to deal with tantrums and falls and "bad days". I learned how to nurture while still setting rules and having boundaries. I learned how to truly love. A different love. The kind you can only know from having your heart walking around outside your body.
And then this fall, it happened. A new mom friend asked ME for advice. And you know what? I was actually able to help her. It was a defining moment for me. For months I had feelings of "am I doing this right" and sometimes feelings of "OH MY GOSH! WHAT am I doing?".
As almost ALL new moms do.
For once I was finally doing something right. And it felt amazing.
I finally found part of me again too. I lost weight, got some new clothes and did some things for myself. I found *mom* friends and joined playgroups. I built a whole new schedule and routine that works for us. I kept my "no fast food" resolution for all of 2011, which may sound silly but was a huge deal to me! I learned how to tell J.D. "I need help". Albeit a work in progress, it was a very big deal, and very needed.
And with all of this I found some confidence in myself that I hadn't seen in years. All of these things helped shape me into a better mom, wife and just all around person.
J.D. had a huge year too! He passed the CPA exam (I am unbelievably proud of him!!), went to college at night, perfected how to run on no sleep, just coffee, and really grew miles as a father himself. He was able to walk in the door at night and drop each and every little thing to fall right onto the floor and go straight into playing with Trey. And never fail, each time it made me fall more and more in love with him. He helped me when I needed it, and times even when I didn't, just because. He worked with me to make our life as a family happy, secure and FUN!
Trey obviously has the most exciting year of all! He started Little Gym and storytime last January and has been enjoying both ever since. He became a true "beach bum" with an absolute love for the sand, sun and water. He grew teeth, lots of hair, started crawling and then
He loves reading books, his bike, blocks, running, songs, car rides, Christmas lights, elmo, laughing, swings, BIG slides, all sorts of foods, the park, the aquarium, bath time, laughing, doggies, his friends, mon-chi-chi and best of all... his mommy and daddy.
I don't know exactly what 2012 has in store for the Beach Bum family. I'mexcited for it. I'm hoping for lots of experiences, maybe a trip or two, definitely more time as a family & learning new things, together.
I hope to be more organized, more frugal, more loving & thoughtful of not just Trey & J.D. but my family and friends as well. I'd like to give blood more often, write more snail mail, get back to yoga (at home and at the studio), and to turn off the tv at night and open a book on my nightstand instead.
And most of all just enjoy this time right now with my amazing family of three. To live in the moment.
Carpe Diem and Happy 2012 to all of you!!